Prologue
'They are your journals, you read them,
’I said to him.
He shook his head.
‘Listen, I don’t have the time or patience for this,
’I said, getting
irritated. Being a writer on a book tour doesn’t allow for much sleep—
I had not slept more than four hours a night for a week. I checked my
watch. ‘It’s midnight. I gave you my view. It’s time for me to sleep
now.’
‘I want yon to read them,
’ he said.
We were in my room at the Chanakya Hotel, Patna. This morning,
he had tried to stop me on my way out. Then he had waited for me all day; I had returned late at night to find him sitting in the hotel lobby.
‘Just give me five minutes, sir,
’ he had said, following me into the
lift. And now here we were in my room as he pulled out three tattered
notebooks from his backpack.
The spines of the notebooks came apart as he plonked them on the
table. The yellowing pages fanned out between us. The pages had
handwritten text, mostly illegible as the ink had smudged. Many pages
had holes, rats having snacked on them.
An aspiring writer, I thought.
‘If this is a manuscript, please submit it to a publisher. However,
do not send it in this state,
’I said.
‘I am not a writer. This is not a book.’
‘It’s not?’ I said, lightly touching a crumbling page. I looked up at
him. Even seated, he was tall. Over six feet in height, he had a
sunburnt, outdoor ruggedness about him. Black hair, black eyes and a
particularly intense gaze. He wore a shirt two sizes too big for his lean
frame. He had large hands. He reassembled the notebooks, gentle with bis fingers, almost caressing the pages.
‘What are these?’ I said.
‘I had a friend. These are her journals,
’ he said.
‘Her journals. Ah. A girlfriend?’
‘Half-girlfriend,’
‘What?’
He shrugged.
‘Listen, have you eaten anything all day?’ I said.
He shook Iris head. I looked around. A bowl of fruit and some
chocolates sat next to my bed. He took a piece of, dark chocolate when
I offered it.
‘So what do you want from me?’ I said.
‘I want you to read these journals, whatever is readable...because I
can’t.’
I looked at him, surprised.
‘You can’t read? As in, you can’t read in general? Or you can’t read
these?
‘These.’
‘Why not?’ I said, reaching for a chocolate myself.
‘Because Riya’s dead.’
My hand froze in mid-air. You cannot pick up a chocolate when
someone has just mentioned a death.
‘Did you just say the girl who wrote these journals is dead?’
He nodded. I took a few deep breaths and wondered what to say
next.
‘Why are they in such terrible shape?’ I said after a pause.
‘They are old. Her ex-landlord found them after years.’
‘Sorry, Mr. What's-your-name. Can I order some food first?’ I
picked up the phone in the room and ordered two club sandwiches
from the limited midnight menu.
'I'm Madhav. Madhav Jha. I live in Dumraon, eighty kilometers
from here.’
‘What do you do?’
‘I run a school there,
’
‘Oh, that’s...’I paused, searching for the right word.
'...noble? Not really. It’s my mother’s school.’
‘I was going to say that’s unusual. You speak English. Not typical of someone who runs a school in the back of beyond.’
‘My English is still bad. I have a Bihari accent,’ he said, without a
trace of self-consciousness,
'French people have a French accent when they speak English,'
'My English wasn’t even English until..,' he trailed off and fell silent. I
saw him swallow to keep his composure.
‘Until?’
He absently stroked the notebooks on the desk.
‘Nothing. Actually, I went to St. Stephen’s.’
‘In Delhi?’
‘Yes. English types call it “Steven’s”.’
I smiled. ‘And you are not one of the English types?’
‘Not at all.’
The doorbell startled us. The waiter shifted the journals to put the
sandwich tray on the table. A few sheets fell to the floor.
‘Careful!’ Madhav shouted, as if the waiter had broken some
antique crystal.
The waiter apologized and scooted out of the room.
I offered Madhav the club sandwich, which had a tomato, cheese
and lettuce filling. He ignored me and rearranged the loose sheets of
paper.
‘Are you okay? Please eat.’
He nodded, His eyes still on the pages of the journal. I decided to
eat, since my imposed guest didn’t seem to care for my hospitality.
‘These journals obviously mean a lot to you. But why have you
brought them here?’
‘For you to read. Maybe they will be useful to you.’
‘How will they be useful to me?’ I said, my voice firmer with the
food inside me. A part of me wanted him out of my room as soon as
possible.
‘She used to like your books. We used to read them together,’ he
said in a soft voice. ‘For me to learn English.’
‘Madhav,’ I said, as calmly as possible, ‘this seems like a sensitive
matter. 1 don’t want to get involved. Okay?’
His gaze remained directed at the floor. ‘I don’t want the journals
either,’ he said after a while.
‘That is for you to decide.'
‘It's too painful for me,’ he said.
'I can imagine.’
He stood up, presumably to leave, He had not touched his sandwich
—which was okay, because I could eat it after he left.
‘Thank you for your time. Sorry to have disturbed you.’
‘It’s okay,’ I said.
He scribbled his phone number on a piece of paper and kept it on
the table. ‘If you are ever in Dumraon and need anything, let me know.
It’s unlikely you will ever come, but still...’ He stood up, instantly
dwarfing me, and walked to the door. *
‘Madhav,’ I called out after him, ‘you forgot the journals. Please
take them with you.’
‘I told you I don’t need them.’
‘So why are you leaving them here?’
‘Because I can’t throw them away. You can.'
Before I could answer, he stepped out, shut the door and left. It
took me a few Seconds to realize what had happened.
I picked up the journals and ran out of the room, but the sole ...
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