Once it happened…
One day in court the emperor Akbar asked, “What do you think gives the
most pleasure to a person?”
There was a chorus of responses. One courtier said, “Serving God is the greatest pleasure,
Your Highness.”
There are always all manner of sycophants around emperors. So someone else said, “Oh
my lord, serving you is the greatest pleasure I can conceive of!”
A third courtier said, “Just gazing at your face is the ultimate joy!”
The hyperbole poured forth. Birbal, the wise, just sat there, bored.
Akbar asked, “Birbal, what makes you so silent? What is it that gives you the greatest
pleasure?”
Birbal said, “Shitting.”
Until then, Akbar was feeling great with all the fawning and adoration. Now he got mad. He
said, “For uttering such an obscenity in court, you had better prove it. If you can’t prove it,
your life is at risk.”
Birbal said, “Give me a fortnight, Your Highness. I’ll prove it to you.”
Akbar said, “Fine.”
The next weekend, Birbal organized a hunting trip for Akbar into the forest, and made sure
all the women in the palace also traveled on this expedition. He set up the camp in such a way
that Akbar’s tent was in the center.
All around, he placed the families, women and children. He
told the catering department to produce the best food. They produced the choicest delicacies
and Akbar ate well. He was on a vacation, after all.
The next morning when he got up and came out, he saw that there was no toilet tent. He
went back into his tent and walked up and down, but the pressure was building up. He tried to
go into the forest, but Birbal had made sure the womenfolk were all over the place.
Pressure built up by the minute. It was about twelve noon, and Akbar couldn’t bear it
anymore.
He was just about to burst. Birbal, who was watching this whole scene, kept walking
around, muttering, “Toilet tent, where to put it, where to put it?” He was simply creating
confusion and delaying matters a little longer.
The emperor was full of shit, and just when there was no more time left, they managed to
set up the toilet tent. Akbar went inside and moaned with relief. Then Birbal, who was waiting
for him outside the tent, asked, “Do you agree with me now?”
Akbar said, “It is the greatest pleasure.”
Relief from something that you cannot hold within you is always the greatest pleasure, isn’t
it? Whatever that thing may be!
One day in court the emperor Akbar asked, “What do you think gives the
most pleasure to a person?”
There was a chorus of responses. One courtier said, “Serving God is the greatest pleasure,
Your Highness.”
There are always all manner of sycophants around emperors. So someone else said, “Oh
my lord, serving you is the greatest pleasure I can conceive of!”
A third courtier said, “Just gazing at your face is the ultimate joy!”
The hyperbole poured forth. Birbal, the wise, just sat there, bored.
Akbar asked, “Birbal, what makes you so silent? What is it that gives you the greatest
pleasure?”
Birbal said, “Shitting.”
Until then, Akbar was feeling great with all the fawning and adoration. Now he got mad. He
said, “For uttering such an obscenity in court, you had better prove it. If you can’t prove it,
your life is at risk.”
Birbal said, “Give me a fortnight, Your Highness. I’ll prove it to you.”
Akbar said, “Fine.”
The next weekend, Birbal organized a hunting trip for Akbar into the forest, and made sure
all the women in the palace also traveled on this expedition. He set up the camp in such a way
that Akbar’s tent was in the center.
All around, he placed the families, women and children. He
told the catering department to produce the best food. They produced the choicest delicacies
and Akbar ate well. He was on a vacation, after all.
The next morning when he got up and came out, he saw that there was no toilet tent. He
went back into his tent and walked up and down, but the pressure was building up. He tried to
go into the forest, but Birbal had made sure the womenfolk were all over the place.
Pressure built up by the minute. It was about twelve noon, and Akbar couldn’t bear it
anymore.
He was just about to burst. Birbal, who was watching this whole scene, kept walking
around, muttering, “Toilet tent, where to put it, where to put it?” He was simply creating
confusion and delaying matters a little longer.
The emperor was full of shit, and just when there was no more time left, they managed to
set up the toilet tent. Akbar went inside and moaned with relief. Then Birbal, who was waiting
for him outside the tent, asked, “Do you agree with me now?”
Akbar said, “It is the greatest pleasure.”
Relief from something that you cannot hold within you is always the greatest pleasure, isn’t
it? Whatever that thing may be!